As we pursue development of cohousing in Philadelphia, we’re learning from established communities. We know that cohousing isn’t for everyone, so how do you determine whether it’s the right place for you at this stage of your life?

To help you ponder your decision, here are a few questions adapted from a list compiled by Charles Maclean, PhD (one of the founders of Trillium Hollow Cohousing in Portland, OR).

1. What expectations do you have about living in a cohousing community? Are these expectations realistic for the community you are considering joining? 
Another way to consider this question is to reflect on what needs in your life are currently not being met that you hope will be met in cohousing. As one builds community, one wants to both assess whether one’s expectations are realistic for this community and express these expectations early on to gather feedback from fellow co-housers and co-founders.

2. Are you willing to learn and use a consent decision-making process?
Living in cohousing requires that we sometimes let go of short-term personal preferences in order to assure the long-term sustainability of the community.

3. Do you look forward to playful connected time like some shared meals, workshops, discussion salons, celebrations or community gardening?
Hermits thrive elsewhere. Cohousing is about both togetherness and aloneness. You don’t have to be an extrovert to thrive in community; introverts are equally essential to a healthy community.

4. Are you willing to contribute 6-10 hours a month of work time to complete tasks essential in keeping the community running and alive?
Sharing the load and doing it together keeps spirits up, costs down, and is the glue of community.

5. How do you handle conflict situations?
Six days out of seven, cohousing is wonderful. But living in cohousing will involve some conflict because deeply committed, passionate people bump up against each other once in a while. If you can use the energy of conflict to produce creative, positive change, you will thrive. 

6. Are you open to giving and receiving emotional and physical support whether it’s a ride to the airport, emergency childcare or a listening ear during a crisis?
Living in cohousing can make life simpler, safer and more nurturing because of the support systems that don’t just depend on relatives.

7. How good are you at establishing your own boundaries and respecting the privacy and boundaries of others?
Living in cohousing is up-close and personal. You will do well to learn to say “yes” or “no” with conviction. It’s your “nos” that give meaning to your “yeses”.

8. What would you like to learn or mentor while living in cohousing?
Cohousing is a great place for co-learning. You can be both a learner and a teacher. There may well be someone in your community who would like to teach you what they know. Equally important, your investment in “self” is core to the building of community.